by Gail Moore

As a survivor of incest, I still struggle with denial.  There are ,moments when I still dont believe I lived with this as a young person. When I was about 11, I remember always wanting to tell my mother the secret,  and I would mumble nothing into her ears. She would become annoyed and tell me to leave her alone if I had nothing to say. Nonetheless in my mind I thought I can’t tell my mother this, she might not believe me, and I never did.

I also wonder what would I be like if I were free to live without the secret of sexual abuse. Today as a woman who continues to push past this crime; a crime that was never brought to trial, I still have fear in my heart.  Although it happened so long ago, it is the number of years of silence I lived with, that at times makes it is seem that is part of my blueprint.