Gail Moore is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. She is a collaborator on the website www.csasurvivor.net a website dedicated towards providing information about sexual abuse and thus breaking the veil of silence that surrounds this polemic issue.

1) Tell us about your background.

I was born in Trinidad and raised in Tobago. I am an only child for my mother and also an only grandchild on my mother’s side. I attended elementary to some high school in Tobago. I was raised working class, that is my mother worked as a domestic, and my grandmother who raised me in Tobago helped building roads in Tobago. My father was never around. I attended 3 different kinds of religious institutions when I was in Trinidad and Tobago, Moravian, Spiritual Baptist, and Seventh Day Adventist. I also went to Seventh Day Adventist High School. At 14 when I came to NY I continued going to Moravian church and also Seventh Day Adventist Church. Today I practice Orisha Yoruba beliefs systems. My stepfather who helped raised me in NY was Seventh Day Adventist. Spirituality is very important to me, as it played a major part of my life as a young person and continues to play an important role in life today. I attended high school, undergrad and grad schools in NYC and both degrees in Psychology.

2) Tell us about how you came up with the idea for the site.

Well after talking with Renee whose idea it was, that is how it all began. At first I was fearful of the idea, but that soon faded as soon as we began.

3) Do you think that there is any way to prevent sexual abuse?

Yes there are ways to prevent sexual abuse, raising people’s awareness that sexual abuse is damaging to whole society, not just a family, and its families that make up communities. Educating others, from law enforcement to parents and children, protecting children in the home and outside, teaching children personal safety tips from young. Just as there are campaigns about other serious issues, there should be one about sexual abuse.

4) What were some of the psychological pressures that you underwent as a result of your abuse?

As a young person I experienced living in constant fear of being sexually abuse. I used to have nightmares of men waiting for me. I swear I saw a man sitting on my ceiling in my bedroom while I was trying to sleep. After the sexual abuse a part of me just didn'’t care about achieving in school, or being a good girl in my grandmother’s house, listening, obeying. I stole her money, wet my bed, and cursed her under my breath. I became preoccupied at one point with looking like a boy, so no man would think I was a girl. When I was in entered high school in Tobago, I would play hooky for days, plotting out ways I could hurt my family, because I thought they didn'’t care, because if they did, they would help me and no one did. At times I actually felt like monster, an ugly person, and that a monster lived in my bedroom.

5) What advice do you have for other women and men who have been abused?

Stay calm, be outraged, all at the same time, Talk to a trusted person, write about it, get it out from inside you. Seek professional help and don'’t give up. Ever.

6) What is your current profession?

I have a MA in Applied Psychology; presently I am an addiction counselor in a hospital, working with adults. It’’s like working in hell. Addicts with over 30 years of addiction histories. The last thing I ever wanted to do. My guess is God knows best, and I had to be in this area of counseling for now, to truly understand how damaging addiction is. My perpetrator was an alcoholic, and I had unfinished business with this addiction. Psychologists believe that we end up marrying or being in relationships with addicts if we were raised with it, from working in this area I believe that this personal business is drawing to a close.

7) What is your secret fear?

That I will fall in love with an abusive addict, like my cousin, and I will spend my days and nights counseling that person, and he abuses me all over again.

8) Tell us about the greatest moment that you have had.

Going to Dakar, Senegal, West Africa alone. Finding place to stay, foods to eat and even making friends and not being able to speak Wolof or French.

9) What is your most elusive goal?

Being satisfied with me, raising my self esteem, liking who I am all the time. Standing up for my self.

10) What is your personal credo?

I try never to take life for granted, and be reminded that I am still walking on the face of the earth.

11) What has been the guiding force in your life?

Despite the abuse, today I feel driven and alive, and have inner strength from my ancestors, I feel close to them, and I believe that as they, survived the middle passage, and slavery and oppression, I too will survive and thrive, as its my destiny.

My over protective mother at times. (At least she tries.)

12) What was your happiest moment?

Some of my happiest moments believe it or not are from Tobago. I love the beaches, the forest, nature, the quietness. I love to think, and I am happy when I get a chance to do unhindered.