Hello Survivors and Friends

Last week we made a promise to share with you the characteristics and list of items that is part of “POST-INCEST SYNDROME”

Here is the list:

Fear of being alone in the dark, of sleeping alone, nightmares ( especially of rape, pursuit, threat, entrapment, blood), night terrors

Swallowing and gagging sensitivity;repugnance to water on face when bathing or swimming ( suffocation feelings)

Alienation from body-not at home in own body;failure to heed signals or take care of it;  poor body image; manipulation body size to avoid sexual attention;  compulsive cleanliness, including bathing is scalding water; or total inattention to personal appearance or hygiene

Gastrointestinal problems; GYN disorders ( including spontaneous vaginal infections) ;  vaginal/internal scarring; headaches; arthritis or joint pain; aversion to doctors ( esp. gynecologist, dentists)

Wearing a lot clothing, even in summer; baggy clothes;failure to remove clothing even when appropriate to do so ( while swimming, bathing, sleeping); extreme requirement for privacy when using bathroom

Eating disorders, drug/alcohol abuse ( or total abstinence); other addictions; compulsive behaviors ) including compulsive busyness

Self injury cutting, burning, etc.) ( physical pain is manageable) (this is an addictive pattern); self destructiveness

Phobias, panic

Need to be invisible, perfect, or perfectly bad

Suicidal thoughts, attempts, obsession (including “Passive suicide”)

Depression ( sometimes paralyzing) ; seemingly baseless crying

Anger issues: inability to recognize, own or express anger; fear of actual imagined rage;constant anger; intense hostility toward entire gender or ethnic group ( “race”) of the perpertrator

Dissociation ( “splitting”) Depersonalization; going into shock, shutdown in crisis ( stressful situation always in crisis); psychic numbing; physical pain or numbing associated with particular memory, emotion ( e.g anger) or situation ( e.g. sex)

Rigid control of thought process; humorless or extreme solemnity

Childhood hiding, hangon on, cowering in corners ( security-seeking behaviors); adult nervousness over being being watched or surprised;feeling watched;startle response;hypervigilance

Trust issues: inability to trust ( trust not safe) absolute trust that turns to rage when disappointed; trusting indiscriminately

High risk taking ( “daring the fates”); inabilty to take risks

Boundary issues’ control, power, territoriality issues, fear of loosing control, obsessive/compulsive behaviors ( attempts to control things that don’t matter, just to control something) power/sex confusion

Guilt ,shame, low self-esteem, feeling worthless, high appreciation of small favors by others

Fear of intimacy.

More of the list will be published next week. Many thanks to E. SUE BLUME author of “Secret Survivors”.

Dear survivors and friends, please post your comments, we look forward to hearing from you.  What kind of information about child sexual abuse or incest are you interested in reading about that we have not covered or want to see more off, please let us know. We want to help. Thanks.