Child sexual abuse is a broad, deeply rooted, cross-economic epidemic that requires dramatic shifts in the way we envision children, family, social responsibility, power relationships and dynamics, sexuality and sex education and systematized oppression.     The complexities of those who have been abused and the realities of those who  abuse  have been  obscured by sensationalism and reactive politics.  Institutional responses over the past 30 years have assembled peicemeal system of reactive approaches rather than well-conceived, proactive, and preventive ones.  Even when policies have been well meaning and intended to protect, they have little effect on the problem in the first place.

     It is a problem in every community.  But despite intense efforts by survivors, service providers, activists and advocates to address the trauma of child sexual abuse, a cohesive, broad- based movement to prevent child sexual abuse has yet to coalesce.

     How is it that so many children are sexually abused every year, and yet the average person on the street has no knowledge of this?   How is  it can there be such a drastic divide between the information we have and what we are willing to acknowledge about child sexual abuse? And if it is so pervasive why are we so unwilling or incapable of seeing it?

Social paralysis

     According the Ms. Foundation for Women, “there are intense emotions to contend with ( shock, horror, rage, despair) and too much of a reality or consciousness  shift to bear. ” This response is symptomatic of society where so many members have themselves experienced unresolved and denied child sexual abuse.

     For those who have not expereinced child sexual abuse directly.   It may be the terrible nature of the act that  is hard to digest.  Shock, disbelief and denial are the responses of people who find it too hard to understand or to cope with. Child sexual abuse has been woven so thoroughly into the fabric of our society that it means to not recognize only the nature of the abuse, but to acknowledge how extensively it has been tolerated. Judith Herman talks about coming “face to face …with the capacity for evil in human nature”. 

     To fully recognize the possibility of child sexual abuse means breaking through a thick cloud of denial,  It means seeing it in your family, your friends, your neighbours, and your community. It means possibility of seeing your own history or experiencing the vicarious trauma of those it has affected.  Sometimes it means recognizing that it has occurred in your own child or a child with whom you are close.  For many of us see this too much.

     There is a triad of forces that operates simultaneoulsy, both on a personal and social level, feeding and providing justification for each other.  Secrecy begets shame begets stigma begets secrecy.  Survivors report that a part of what enables abuse is the ability to manipulate a child into secrecy.  The secret is reinforced by the shame the child experiences and that follows the child through out his or her life.  The dynamics of shame and secrecy, and powerlessness and fear, are deeply instilled in the child, making it profoundly difficult for survivors to disclose CSA both at the time of the abuse and throughout their lives.

      The family is considered a sacred entity in our society with unquestioned rights to privacy.  There is little accountability outside the family for actions that take place within the home, as outsiders are not accorded a role in family matters.  Neighbors feel compelled to keep to themselves their suspicions of child sexual abuse going on in a family down the street.  Family and friends even wonder if it is any of their business that things seem a little strange between a child and his or her relatives.

      We do not have a common language for abuse.  Survivors, abusers, family members, and loved ones don’t know how to translate the feelings of  the abuse  after it occurs.  Survivors do not always describe the expereince as abuse and therefore do not identify with programs that define it as such.  The lack of language does not adequately frame our understanding of the complexities involved.  It tends to paralyze us, make it difficult to identify what is happening, disarm our ability to communicate pain and confusion, and prevent abuse from happening again.

      When good information is available either through the media or through efforts of advocates, healers, educators, and or activists, it is not equally  available in all communities.  Many brochures and other types of public education are typically only in English, and even when translated don’t  easily cross a cultural divide. Written information should not be one  the only means of a larger effort to address child sexual abuse.

     So whose responsibility is it to prevent child sexual abuse? Often it is placed on the child who is being abused to disclose.  We need to shift this responsibility from the child to adults in the home, community, school and other institutions.

Courtesy Ms. Foundation for Women.