Hello survivors, friends and partners:

Today, we wanted to talk to all the people who are close to a survivor who is healing from child sexual abuse. We know this is a tremendous challenge.  Healing can be a deep process that can lead to closeness and growth between you and the survivor. But it can also leave you feeling resentful, confused, isolated and overwhelmed. Sometimes you don’t know what to say, what to feel and how to act around the survivor. Believe me this is natural.

When your survivor friend told you that they were sexually abused they were entrusting you with a painful, frightening, difficult part of their life. Please honor the trust and support their healing.

If you really care, you can educate yourself about sexual abuse and the healing process. Respect the survivors space and time it takes to heal, encourage the survivor to get help. Expect that there will be changes in your relationship as the survivor heals and mostly resist seeing the survivor as a victim.

Most important.  You must take care of yourself, being with a survivor can be demanding, take breaks, honor your own needs and if you have the means get help for your self if you find you  are becoming defensive and upset. (GM)