Communication is the key to healing  together so many of the problems that couples face can be remedied by talking about our feelings honestly and brainstorming ideas for change together.

Communication neutralizes the effects of sexual abuse.  It runs counter to the dynamics that existed in sexual abuse, such as silence, secrecy, shame, and victimization.  When you’re talking, what you are doing is not the secret like the abuse was.  You are asserting aloud what is important to you.  Shame doesnot have a chance to build.

Communication takes survivors out of the passive victim role, where things are done to us without us having our say in the matter, to an active position where they are setting limits, directing actions, and negotiating with a partner about how things will proceed.

Communication helps to build emotional intimacy with your partner.  ” Intimacy is a basic human need, and it should not be confused with sex.  Sex is an important aspect of intimacy but sex is not the only -or even the most important kind of sharing… Before we can find and maintain sexual satisfaction with a partner, we must develop our ability to achieve and maintain “emotional intercourse.. It grows from the desire to connect with someone else- to learn what that person thinks and feels, and to share , in return, your innermost self.”

You can use communication to help maintain a strong sense of yourself as you pursue emotional and physical closeness with your partner.