This is the final portion of the After Effects checklist.

Pattern of being a victim ( victimizing oneself after being vicitimized by others), especially sexually; no sense of own power or right to set limits or say “no”, pattern of relationships with much older persons ( onset in adolescence); Or exaggerated sense of entitlement; revictimization by others ( adult sexual violence, including sexual exploitation by bosses and ” helping” professionals)

Feeling demand to “produce to be loved” instinctively knowing and doing what the other person needs or wants; relationships mean big tradeoffs (”love” was taken, not given)

Abandonment issues; desire for relationships with no separateness; avoidance/fear of intimacy

Blocking out some period of early years ( especially 1-12 but may continue into adulthood), or a specific person or place

Feeling of carrrying an awful secret; urge to tell/fear of its being revealed; certainty that no-one would listen. Being generally secretive. Feeling “marked” ( the ” scarlet letter”)

Feeling crazy; feeling different; feeling oneself to be unreal and everyone else to be real, or vice versa; creating fantasy world, relationships, or identities ( esp, for women, imaging/wishing self to be male. (i:e not a victim) (I have definitely been there)

Denial; awareness at all; repression of memories; pretending; minimizing ( “it wasn’t that bad”) having dreams or memories (”memories (”maybe it’s my imagination”) ( these are actually flashbacks, which is how recall begins) ; strong, deep, “inappropriate” negative reactions to a person, place or event; “sensory flashes” ( a light, a place, physical feeling) without any sense of their meaning; remembering surroundings but not the event. Memory may start with the least threatening event or perpetrator. Actual details of abuse may never be fully remembered; however, much recovery is possible without complete recall. Your inner guide will release memories at the pace you can handle.

Sexual issues: sex feels “dirty”, aversion to being touched, especially in GYN exams; strong aversions to ( or need for) particular sex acts; feeling betrayed by one’s body; trouble integrating sexuality and emotionality; confusion or overlapping of affection’sex’dominance’aggression’violence’ having to pursue power in sexual arena which is actually sexual acting out ( self-abuse, manipulation ( esp. women); abuse of others ( esp. men); compulsively : seductive,” or compulsively asexual in intimate relationship ( conflict between sex and caring); prostitution, stripper, sex symbol porn actress; sexual “acting out” to meet anger or revenge needs;sexual addiction; avoidance;shutdown; crying after orgasm; all pursuit feels like violation; sexualizing of all meaningful relationships; erotic response to abuse or anger, sexual fantasies of dominance/ real rape ( results in guilt and confusion); teenage pregnancy. Note: Homosexuality is not an aftereffects!

Pattern of ambivalent or intensely conflictual relationships ( in true intimacy, issues are more likely to surface; in problem relationships,focus can be shifted from real issue of incest) Partner of survivor often suffers consequences of Post-Incest Syndrome also ( especially sex and relationship issues).

Avoidance of mirrors ( connected with invisibility, shame’self-esteem issues; distorted perceptions of face or body)

Desire to change one’s name ( to disassociate from the perpertrator or take control through self-labeling)

Limited tolerance for happiness;active withdrawal from reluctance to trust happiness (”ice=thin”)

Aversion to noise-making ( including, during sex, crying, laughing, or or other body functions); verbal hypervigilance ( careful monitoring of one’s words); quiet-voiced, especially when needing to be heard

Stealing (adults); fire-starting ( children)

Food sensitivities’avoidance based on texture ( mayonniase) or appearance ( hot dogs), which remind the survivor of abuse, or smell/sound which remind survivor or perpertrator ; aversion to meat. red foods.

Compulsive honesty or compulsive dishonesty ( lying)

Hypervigilance regarding child abuse, or inabililty to see child abuse, or avoidance of any awareness of mention of child abuse; tendency to develop relationships with incest perpertrators

Note to therapists and others: Many of these “aftereffects” can be the consequences of other problems that occur in early life. There are however, some items which nearly always indicate sexual abuse, and when one experiences over 25 items on this checklist, incest should be strongly suspected. Proceed with caution! (Survivors and Partners, be gently with yourselves- and each other.)

Courtesy of e.sueblume, csw. Secret survivors: Uncovering Incest and its Aftereffects in Women. GM