THE MALE SURVIVORS’ STRUGGLE

Boys who have been sexually abused often mature into very confused, pained and troubled men. Research has revealed that for boys and men the effect of childhood sexual abuse can run the gamut; from no psychological effect at all to devastating psychological trauma.

But the severity of pyschological trauma usually depends on several environmental and personal variables. The greater the trauma:

• the lower the survivor’s self-esteem
• the earlier the onset of the abuse
• the more prolonged the abuse
• the more frequent the abuse
• the greater the number of adults involved
• the abuse took place within the family circle 
• the longer the time between the abuse and the disclosure

BOYS OFTEN RAPED BY MALE FAMILY MEMBERS 

Most boys are victims of older males in the family, sometimes  brothers, cousins, uncles, other male relatives, and even their own fathers. Few men are sexually abused by women (and when a woman is the abuser, most times, it is the mother), therefore, same-sex abuse creates a whirlwind of sexual orientation issues as these boys turn into men.

SEXUAL ORIENTATION

Sexual Orientation is defined by the sex of the individuals to whom we are erotically and emotionally attracted. There are only three (3) possible sexual orientations: heterosexual, homosexual, and bisexual.

SEXUAL ABUSE TRAUMA 

Sexual assault involving family members and caretakers can cause great trauma for boys because of “the degree of the violation implied” and “the power the perpetrator has held over the child.” The higher the “intergenerational transmission rate” the more tragic the psychological effects.

ANOTHER PERSPECTIVE 

According to Robin Stone, male survivors struggle with similar issues as females, but because of societies expectations male survivors are especially:

Concerned about sexuality

Concerned about masculinity

Isolation

Feelings of inadequacy and vulnerability

Recognizing abuse and its effects

Disclosing the abuse to others

Finding resources and support

Courtesy Robin Stone’s “No Secret No Lies How Black Families Can Heal From Sexual Abuse.”